What we do to fit in is go against our true self, instinct and essence. It is a condition of the mind that drives us to not want to be seen as different, exposed or at risk from ridicule or being ostracised. It is all driven by our ego and its fragility.
True vulnerability, as Brene Brown would say, is being able to brave the wilderness and be wholehearted. That takes a huge amount of consciousness and acceptance of what is to be able to truly be and to truly be our soul and pure essence. We have to be prepared to walk the other way to the crowd.
On the surface, it is easier to fit in. However, only in the short-term, as fitting in and going against our true self creates inner suffering and pain.
Once we become conscious and true to ourselves, the pain fades, and we become braver and no longer in fear of the wilderness that being ourselves requires.
People come into our lives and serve a purpose and are part of our journey of growth and evolution. Some will be there for a short time, maybe a day or even a chance conversation with a stranger, some longer and some for life.
It doesn’t matter how long a person is there. It’s OK to let go and move on from that person when we feel that the time is right to move on and that feeling comes from the soul, not from the mind and its ego. There is no need to explain either why we are moving on, there doesn’t have to be a reason, we don’t need to do anything or say ‘goodbye’ or make a big fuss. We can just let it be and if it is meant to continue it will happen and if not it won’t. It is as simple as that and it only gets complicated when our mind and its fragile ego get involved and where we have created a needy attachment, that is when the pain and suffering within comes and when we feel we have to act.
When we have to force something then there is nothing good that will come from it for either person or if we have to make a big deal about moving on and a big fuss, then it is really all about our ego and being a victim/punisher of another and again nothing good will come from it.
If we let things be, allowing time with another to be free from dependency and attachment, and allow ourselves to trust our true essence and feelings about when it is time to go, then there is freedom and joy for each person. It is without drama and pain-free too.
All things, including friendships and relationships, are always as they are and they are meant to be or not. It is not our job to interfere, it is our place to just be and enjoy what is. Always to be present in this moment and away from the sabotage of the mind.
We do not need to be accountable to or get the permission from others to do what our soul and instinct is telling us to do.