The relaxation/guilt circle

Then, when we are wanting to relax, we feel guilty about the things we haven’t yet completed or need to be done. Also, in the industrialised world, it is seen as bad not to be constantly busy.

Therefore, relaxation time is far from that, it is stressful and time where we make ourselves feel bad.

When we are wanting to work, to do things, to take action, we feel resentful because when we were supposed to be relaxing in the evening or the weekend, we didn’t, we felt guilty. Therefore, we didn’t get time to chill and now work seems like a chore.

So, we don’t do the work and when it is time to relax, guess what? Yep, the same circle repeats itself guilt – resentment – guilt – resentment and so on.

To break it, we need to do one thing, create a time when work ends, and begins again, a shutdown. During the shutdown, we switch off work, phones, email, text, and so on.

If you are doing a job that is so important that you can not switch off for 8-12 hours a day, then change it, for the rest of us, there is nothing so earth-shatteringly important that it can not wait a few hours.

This breaks the circle of guilt followed by resentment. We properly relax and therefore we are fully supercharged to do our work, we get more work done and soon we have more time to relax.

It’s OK to accept good things

Often, when work is going well or we have some good news, or we’re having a fab time with friends, family and life is feeling great, we then think ‘this won’t last’ or ‘too good to be true’ or ‘something bad is sure to happen’ and so on.

It’s at this moment that we could choose to just accept that everything is going well and it is OK to enjoy that, there is no need to fear or to feel guilty or play it down.

Accept what is, enjoy the moment and just be. Why choose to spoil it and inflict mental pain upon ourselves? Why choose bad?