Guilty

We feel guilty because we are worried about how others are judging us.

The internal mind-construct of the story of ‘me’ is concerned about its exterior image.

The ego is concerned about what others might think about us if we do not do something or equally if we do something too.

Amazingly, the little mind-made ‘me’ can find anything to create guilt about. It is all part of the story.

If we choose to accept that, what we do or don’t do, is no one else’s business. Equally, whether we are doing something for others, or not, does not matter or affect our worth as a person.

Guilt is a self-inflicted pain that we choose to have or not. If we choose to accept that others are responsible for their own lives, happiness, etc and we are equally accountable for ours and no one has to justify any choice, then we can have peace within.

Peace comes from accepting what is, accepting ourselves and others too and not associating ourselves with our ego. Our mind and ego are not us.

The relaxation/guilt circle

Then, when we are wanting to relax, we feel guilty about the things we haven’t yet completed or need to be done. Also, in the industrialised world, it is seen as bad not to be constantly busy.

Therefore, relaxation time is far from that, it is stressful and time where we make ourselves feel bad.

When we are wanting to work, to do things, to take action, we feel resentful because when we were supposed to be relaxing in the evening or the weekend, we didn’t, we felt guilty. Therefore, we didn’t get time to chill and now work seems like a chore.

So, we don’t do the work and when it is time to relax, guess what? Yep, the same circle repeats itself guilt – resentment – guilt – resentment and so on.

To break it, we need to do one thing, create a time when work ends, and begins again, a shutdown. During the shutdown, we switch off work, phones, email, text, and so on.

If you are doing a job that is so important that you can not switch off for 8-12 hours a day, then change it, for the rest of us, there is nothing so earth-shatteringly important that it can not wait a few hours.

This breaks the circle of guilt followed by resentment. We properly relax and therefore we are fully supercharged to do our work, we get more work done and soon we have more time to relax.