Tag: comfort

A comfort in holding on

Posted on by philipdodson

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Liberating ourselves from past behaviours is sometimes sabotaged.

We may think that we have decided to change and form new habits.

Sometimes we explain to ourselves that lapses in behaviour are to do with it taking a long time to change a habit. This is certainly true of habits that we have had for a lifetime that we are trying to alter.

However, sometimes there is a subconscious comfort in remaining as we were, particularly if the habit is related to a person or perhaps our childhood.

Once you realise what triggers a particularly habitual behaviour that you are trying to change, get really curious to see if this behaviour has a comfort zone from the past.

Comfort zones are nearly always uncomfortable and safety is riskier than change. Staying stuck with a habit is in the long-term more painful than the change.

As I blogged only recently, hard things end up being easy longer-term and easy is always painful, like holding on for ‘comfort’.

It’s a lonely road

Posted on by philipdodson

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If it was easy creating great things, we’d all be at it everyday, and then nothing would be created that was worthwhile or unique. Creating something different, unique, and new, takes time, takes effort, bravery and imagination.

It takes patience, through trial and error, through learning lessons and improving what you create next. The key though is to keep creating, keep sharing and keep connecting with others.

This initial phase of standing out, not fitting in, challenging the status quo, and challenging yourself, is the hardest part. It is a lonely place being different, it often means being ‘unfriended’, ‘unfollowed’ or simply ignored (OMG the terror, surely I am going to die).

The first thing that has to drive us to create, is pure and simply for ourselves, for our own sense of fulfilment and purpose. We have to follow our own why, our own values and be 100% ourselves in order to create the very best stuff. We also have to accept vulnerability and we have to learn courage.

Often though that takes us so far out of our safety zones that it is too scary to start. Even once you have started, the temptation is to row back to shore, especially as your peers are beckoning you back to ‘safety’.

As you drift further and further from shore, the journey gets very lonely. You start to question, you start to think about defeat, the chimp inside us is going mad with the stress you are putting him or her under.

The road to creating your very best, truly you, is a lonely road.

But the only way to be truly you, to be truly happy is to make that initial lonely journey to a better place. It starts with a choice to change, followed by being prepared to take that lonely road.

Eventually though you find your tribe, you find your place, and your creations get shared with the right audience that you have chosen.