We control one thing

We control one thing in life…our own journey.

Everything else is outside our control and any attempt to control someone or something else is a futility.

No one likes to be controlled by others and when we attempt it, it is simply manipulation.

We spend endless energy on attempting to control things that we cannot and the resulting suffering for ourselves and the people we try to control is a big part of the suffering in the world.

If we accept everything as it is, if we accept that we can only control our own life and if we let go of the expectation of doing so with something or someone and the manipulation we have to construct to do so, then peace comes within us and for the others that we are trying to control.

Events, the weather, actions of others, thoughts of others, others opinions of us, governments, banks, neighbours, partners, wife/husband/son/daughter…the list can go on and on, are not things that we can alter, so it’s best to just let it go, stop resisting it, stop fighting it and just be and let others be.

Once we get to this stage, we then have so much more energy and space within to concentrate on our own journey, happiness and growth. Our life is our responsibility and other people’s journeys are theirs.


When expectation of something in return is the motivator of our kindness, then it isn’t kindness, it’s manipulation. Some manipulation is relatively harmless, well so it seems on the surface, and other is much more unkind.

If we act from our soul and true essence and perform an act of kindness simply because it brings us joy and where there is no expectation from the mind, then it brings us pure joy and it places no burden on the other person.

Manipulation from the mildest to the most extreme forms is damaging to the recipient and the manipulator and comes from our ego and from our fears. We believe that we need to be seen to be in control, it’s all about the inner self image and how we think we are perceived.

If we allows others to be as they are and if we are willing to accept everything as it is, then there is no need to want to control others and there is no need to create an image by acts of ‘kindness’ that are laced with burden.

Kindness is an act of love from the heart and soul.