Tag: helpful

Worthy or not?

Posted on by philipdodson

We often believe that our worth is related to something we do for others.

It isn’t.

For a long time, I believed that I am only lovable and worthy if I helped others. This was based on a nonsense story I had built up and it stemmed from my childhood where I only received love and attention if I helped.

I have battled with this story all my life…I now realise it is not true. Of course, I still enjoy being helpful, however, now without the need to relate it to my worth as a person. Being helpful because I want to and it brings me joy and not doing it because I think that is the only way people will love me.

We are worthy from the day we are born to the day that we die…no matter what. No matter what we achieve or don’t.

We have nothing to prove.

We are all worthy of love and belonging.

Once we can accept this, it frees us to be ourselves.

Letting others down

Posted on by philipdodson

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In life, we are often concerned or even preoccupied with the fear of letting others down.

‘Oh, I can’t do x, as I don’t want to let ‘so & so’ down’.

The thing is, why are we not so concerned about letting ourselves down?

We are taught always to think of others first and when we don’t we are often shamed for doing so by peers.

We need to turn that around and stop letting ourselves down, stop missing our deadlines, stop holding back on the things that make us happy. Stop feeling guilty about others as we could be accountable to ourselves first.

In doing so, we are much less likely to let others down. If we are happy, fulfilled and achieving what matters to us, then we are better placed when needed to be helpful, reliable and supportive of others.

Often, though, it is when other people are letting themselves down that others are needed to step in.

It’s not being selfish to think about ourselves, it is helping us to be happy. Surely that will count to the right people around us.