Demands

Often others demand things from us.

We have this feeling of being obliged to do so, often, we resent it.

We have a feeling of duty.

There is no obligation, there is no duty, we need to choose to do what we feel happy with and not what others demand of us.

Equally, we can choose to practice the same in reverse and not demand or be reliant on others.

To have no expectations of others leads to no disappointment and choosing what we do rather than obligation or duty leads to better relationships with others and greater personal freedom and for the other person too.

This is counter-intuitive to our conditioning of obligation, duty and responding to the demands of others, not wanted no to offend. Yet no one really likes feeling obliged, duty-bound or without choice.

A paradox we all fight with, perhaps time to respect ourselves and exercise our freedom.

Let go of being demanding and look to ourselves and all that we already have.

Other people’s rules

rules

All too often we say ‘by now I should be _______’. This is when we fall into the comparison drama with others and where we perceive them to be versus us. We automatically assume that everything in this other person’s life is much better than our own. We tell ourselves that we have failed, as we have not reached the ‘level’ of others.

Why do we allow others to dictate to us where we should be, or should be doing, with our lives? Why do we feel this need to compare ourselves to others?

Firstly the word is ‘could’ not ‘should’ as there is no preset laid out plan with achievement levels that we need to have reached. ‘Could’ gives us the freedom to choose for ourselves. ‘Should’ is a negative, it implies a duty.

Secondly, it does not matter where we are with our lives. It is up to us to decide what success looks like to us. It is a personal thing, not the business of others, as it is not ours to judge anyone else’s success.

What others think is not important in the slightest. Comparisons are always going to have a negative impact on our mindset and success. We all have our own lives, we are not other people, and what they have or have not achieved is not relevant to us.

All that matters is what our dreams are, and working step by step to achieve them. Do not live by the rules of others, create your own, that’s if you need rules at all, but just be focused on you and what you want to do with your life.

After all what is right or wrong is just an opinion.