Often, we do the same thing again and again, purely out of habit, and then become frustrated with the result. Well, frustrated with the result, if it doesn’t turn out the way we want it to.
We build up these patterns of behaviour, largely based on habit and not really based on too much analysis. So a situation arises, we react as we always have, and without learning the lessons from the outcome, we repeat, and repeat, and repeat.
Conversations, debates, dealing with situations with our customers, employees, children, partners etc, often follow a familiar pattern, and we end up going round and round the same circles.
Why, other than habit, do we do this?
Often, it is to do with wanting to control others, or not wanting to compromise, or simply, it is fear of doing something different.
We can often say to others or to ourselves, when people give us suggested different strategies, ‘that won’t work’. Even when we have never tried that solution. Better to say ‘it won’t work’, than face the discomfort of changing, or the humiliation of giving into someone, or the fear of failing.
Break the cycle, break out of that vicious circle of repeating outcomes and try something different, compromise, or simply just listen and empathise with the other person, before choosing how to react.
A different path is daunting at first, but surely it is better than going around the same circle again.
Philip Dodson 