Resilience is about flexibility

Building a habit is hard if the rules are so strict and so rigid that there is no room for a slip.

We make the rules for our own life inside our head. We are the ones who make ourselves feel guilty or useless for not doing something. We are the ones who decide.

If we are following a particular diet, or workout, or productivity routine, then we are the ones who set the rules and if we break them, we are the ones who choose to punish ourselves or not.

The thing is, whatever you do in life, there are no rules if you decide, other than the ones we impose upon ourselves. So if we have been doing something every single day for months and then we forget one day, it simply doesn’t matter unless we make it so.

The reality is, it is easier to build and maintain a habit for life if we allow ourselves the odd slip without the need to punish or feel bad. If there is only rigidity in anything, then it breaks, it becomes negative and resistance builds.

Resilience is about flexibility, being able to bend gives us the ability to spring back from a slip or setback. It is positive as we feel we can bend, there is no pressure.

Cry on the outside

Suck it up, stiff upper lip, be strong, toughen up, be a man, harden up and so on.

A culture of believing strength is not showing emotion, not being vulnerable, a macho belief that we have to be hard as nails.

Cry on the inside and suffer from the so-called bravery.

People who choose to be really brave and open up, show their emotions, let their guard down and be vulnerable to the outside world are the ones who cry on the outside and end the suffering within.