Resilience is about flexibility

Building a habit is hard if the rules are so strict and so rigid that there is no room for a slip.

We make the rules for our own life inside our head. We are the ones who make ourselves feel guilty or useless for not doing something. We are the ones who decide.

If we are following a particular diet, or workout, or productivity routine, then we are the ones who set the rules and if we break them, we are the ones who choose to punish ourselves or not.

The thing is, whatever you do in life, there are no rules if you decide, other than the ones we impose upon ourselves. So if we have been doing something every single day for months and then we forget one day, it simply doesn’t matter unless we make it so.

The reality is, it is easier to build and maintain a habit for life if we allow ourselves the odd slip without the need to punish or feel bad. If there is only rigidity in anything, then it breaks, it becomes negative and resistance builds.

Resilience is about flexibility, being able to bend gives us the ability to spring back from a slip or setback. It is positive as we feel we can bend, there is no pressure.

Trees fighting the wind

Resilience is often thought of as about being strong and fighting against the odds, about being tough!

If we look to nature, the most resilient things are those that are flexible and do not fight the elements.

Bending to the wind rather than fighting it ensures the tree’s survival.

Resilience is accepting what is, not fighting what is and allowing ourselves to flexible. Stepping away from the mind and being present, taking the action to the situation free from the ego and its image of being tough, strong, resilient…or not.

So when the going is ‘tough’ we accept that, rather than denying it and stressing ourselves with wanting a different outcome to what has already occurred…futile. Also, the moment we resist mentally ‘what is’ it is the same as a tree that fights the wind, it breaks.

Bend with the wind, accept it is windy, and then spring back.