Tag: other people

Revenge…best not served at all

Posted on by philipdodson

The mind and its fragile ego convince us of the need to take revenge for a perceived wrongdoing of another.

The mind goes into overdrive, as its ego switches between victim and punisher and concocts various schemes of how to get someone back for what they did.

The reality is, they did nothing in the first place. We did it to ourselves by choosing to allow the actions of another bother us within in the first place. If we accept internally others for what they are and for what they do, then we do not inflict inner pain upon ourselves. We are at peace with what they do or say.

Now, that does not stop us offering a different opinion outwardly, or choosing to move on or walk away from that person. But what we do is forgive them instantly by accepting them always for what they are. Then there is no suffering, and no need to exact revenge.

Revenge only leads to more suffering, and the suffering will be within us. All things are a matter of choice and how we react and choose to react has its consequences always.

It’s a choice to let go, to surrender to what is, to allow others to be and to simply move-on. There is no action to take and the consequences will be inner peace for us.

Victim and/or punisher

Posted on by philipdodson

When we’ve been hurt by someone else’s behaviour or words, often the mind plays up and decides that our ego has been bruised, the self-image tainted, we feel that we need to enact vengeance, to get revenge, to punish or the opposite, play the victim and seek attention and feel sorry for ourselves. In most cases, there is a bit of both punishment and victimhood.

These games that we play serve no purpose at all, other than to perpetuate the victim/punisher role that is played out in the mind and continue our own internal pain. It is damaging not only to ourselves in terms of the suffering we unduly cause inside, it is also damaging to the people we inflict our victim/punisher behaviour on. It is not for us to judge and punish other people’s choices of behaviour.

If we stay conscious, if we allow the reaction to just be, if we choose not to be internally bothered by others and if we choose to just simply observe our ego and thoughts, then we stay calm, at peace and do not react out of fear and its other emotions.

That does not mean we have to outwardly accept others and their choice of behaviour, it simply means inner surrender and acceptance to what is, to accepting others as they are and to not allow suffering within from our ego’s desire to be a victim or a punisher of others.