Tag: control

Stealing freedom

Posted on by philipdodson

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Those who try to control others are often frustrated by the inability to focus on their own challenges in life. They feel the solution to their woes is to see others as the person to blame and change.

Trying to control others is only going to lead to stealing someone else’s freedom of choice. Imposing your will on others is denying you the chance to live your life, to focus on what you have and what is important to you, and it restricts the freedom of others.

Happiness comes when you allow others to be free and you free yourself from the burden that is manipulation.

Inspire yourself by focusing on your freedom, focusing on what matters to you and by stepping away from issues that are outside our control.

Live without the stress and the effort of the futility of trying to engineer things that we can not. Short-term we can manipulate and coerce others, but longer term it is our own happiness that builds the right life for us and attracts the right people who want to be part of our journey because they have chosen to.

Freedom of choice is the most precious gift of life, keep yours safe and don’t steal others.

Allowing others to control us is one of the biggest injustice you can do to yourself. Love yourself, be kind to yourself, choose your own happiness first and step away from anyone who can’t respect that and who tries to stop that.

Reflection

Posted on by philipdodson

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I often talk about not over thinking, or analysing things too much. However, there is a need sometimes to pause for thought and some reflection.

In life, we face emotional situations at times. It could be someone’s actions or something they say to us or about us, that causes an initial reaction of hurt, or anger or other emotions.

This is normal to react this way initially and perfectly OK. It is OK to have emotions and to feel things like anger etc. However, if we react straight away based on those emotions, then we risk the wrong outcome.

Once we enter this emotional response mode, we engage the limbic brain often with a ‘win at all cost’ mentality. It becomes totally black and white, we often are seeking to inflict retribution.

The fact is, if you step away from the situation, give yourself some breathing space and take a moment to reflect, then you put yourself back in control of yourself. You are then likely to respond with clarity and not be clouded by emotion.

By doing that, the recipient is more likely to engage and respond in a similar manner instead of responding with anger or other emotions.

This does not mean that you are backing down or being weak, in fact in shows strength and shows that you are in control and not going skip to someone else’s tune.

Reflection can be a very powerful tool to regain control of your emotions.