Someone to blame has become endemic in our society, it always has to be someone’s fault.
Yet blaming someone serves no purpose, as it nearly always involves shaming the person who is at ‘fault’. Shaming is a tactic over used in the today’s fear based, judgemental and hate driven society.
Does anyone feel good to be blamed? No.
Does shaming that person make them less likely to commit the same ‘mistake’ again? No.
Or does it only serve to make them feel less worthy and demotivated? Yes.
Then there is the self-blame that we indulge in too, which is a by-product of the blaming culture. We see ourselves as the cause of something ‘it’s me, I’m the one to blame’, this where we have been conditioned to play the victim role.
The thing is blame and fault are not conducive to creating better outcomes, they are demotivating and more likely to continue to create less desirable outcomes. People fear the next shaming, blaming session, so they hold back on creating their best stuff. Safe becomes the norm.
If we accept that at the time people set out to do their best, sometimes the outcome is not what we desired, but all we can do is take the learning. Then apply that learning to the future, with the sole purpose of improving that outcome. We want people to be free to create their very best, and that will never happen if blame is in the equation.
If we look to praise, encourage and inspire by looking at what went right, rather than what went ‘wrong’, then better and better creations will evolve. If we focus on making ourselves and others feel worthy, if we are compassionate, empathetic and supportive, then future outcomes will only be better.
That is all we can do. Create an environment where people feel free to do their best.
Philip Dodson 