Tag: Philip Dodson

Reflection

Posted on by philipdodson

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I often talk about not over thinking, or analysing things too much. However, there is a need sometimes to pause for thought and some reflection.

In life, we face emotional situations at times. It could be someone’s actions or something they say to us or about us, that causes an initial reaction of hurt, or anger or other emotions.

This is normal to react this way initially and perfectly OK. It is OK to have emotions and to feel things like anger etc. However, if we react straight away based on those emotions, then we risk the wrong outcome.

Once we enter this emotional response mode, we engage the limbic brain often with a ‘win at all cost’ mentality. It becomes totally black and white, we often are seeking to inflict retribution.

The fact is, if you step away from the situation, give yourself some breathing space and take a moment to reflect, then you put yourself back in control of yourself. You are then likely to respond with clarity and not be clouded by emotion.

By doing that, the recipient is more likely to engage and respond in a similar manner instead of responding with anger or other emotions.

This does not mean that you are backing down or being weak, in fact in shows strength and shows that you are in control and not going skip to someone else’s tune.

Reflection can be a very powerful tool to regain control of your emotions.

Other people’s rules

Posted on by philipdodson

rules

All too often we say ‘by now I should be _______’. This is when we fall into the comparison drama with others and where we perceive them to be versus us. We automatically assume that everything in this other person’s life is much better than our own. We tell ourselves that we have failed, as we have not reached the ‘level’ of others.

Why do we allow others to dictate to us where we should be, or should be doing, with our lives? Why do we feel this need to compare ourselves to others?

Firstly the word is ‘could’ not ‘should’ as there is no preset laid out plan with achievement levels that we need to have reached. ‘Could’ gives us the freedom to choose for ourselves. ‘Should’ is a negative, it implies a duty.

Secondly, it does not matter where we are with our lives. It is up to us to decide what success looks like to us. It is a personal thing, not the business of others, as it is not ours to judge anyone else’s success.

What others think is not important in the slightest. Comparisons are always going to have a negative impact on our mindset and success. We all have our own lives, we are not other people, and what they have or have not achieved is not relevant to us.

All that matters is what our dreams are, and working step by step to achieve them. Do not live by the rules of others, create your own, that’s if you need rules at all, but just be focused on you and what you want to do with your life.

After all what is right or wrong is just an opinion.