It’s a lonely road

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If it was easy creating great things, we’d all be at it everyday, and then nothing would be created that was worthwhile or unique. Creating something different, unique, and new, takes time, takes effort, bravery and imagination.

It takes patience, through trial and error, through learning lessons and improving what you create next. The key though is to keep creating, keep sharing and keep connecting with others.

This initial phase of standing out, not fitting in, challenging the status quo, and challenging yourself, is the hardest part. It is a lonely place being different, it often means being ‘unfriended’, ‘unfollowed’ or simply ignored (OMG the terror, surely I am going to die).

The first thing that has to drive us to create, is pure and simply for ourselves, for our own sense of fulfilment and purpose. We have to follow our own why, our own values and be 100% ourselves in order to create the very best stuff. We also have to accept vulnerability and we have to learn courage.

Often though that takes us so far out of our safety zones that it is too scary to start. Even once you have started, the temptation is to row back to shore, especially as your peers are beckoning you back to ‘safety’.

As you drift further and further from shore, the journey gets very lonely. You start to question, you start to think about defeat, the chimp inside us is going mad with the stress you are putting him or her under.

The road to creating your very best, truly you, is a lonely road.

But the only way to be truly you, to be truly happy is to make that initial lonely journey to a better place. It starts with a choice to change, followed by being prepared to take that lonely road.

Eventually though you find your tribe, you find your place, and your creations get shared with the right audience that you have chosen.

Round and round the same circles

Philip Dodson Blog

Often, we do the same thing again and again, purely out of habit, and then become frustrated with the result. Well, frustrated with the result, if it doesn’t turn out the way we want it to.

We build up these patterns of behaviour, largely based on habit and not really based on too much analysis. So a situation arises, we react as we always have, and without learning the lessons from the outcome, we repeat, and repeat, and repeat.

Conversations, debates, dealing with situations with our customers, employees, children, partners etc, often follow a familiar pattern, and we end up going round and round the same circles.

Why, other than habit, do we do this?

Often, it is to do with wanting to control others, or not wanting to compromise, or simply, it is fear of doing something different.

We can often say to others or to ourselves, when people give us suggested different strategies, ‘that won’t work’. Even when we have never tried that solution. Better to say ‘it won’t work’, than face the discomfort of changing, or the humiliation of giving into someone, or the fear of failing.

Break the cycle, break out of that vicious circle of repeating outcomes and try something different, compromise, or simply just listen and empathise with the other person, before choosing how to react.

A different path is daunting at first, but surely it is better than going around the same circle again.