Tag: advice

Passion

Posted on by philipdodson

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I was at a meeting recently of an organisation that is relatively new and is there to be a voice for an emerging industry.

So we kicked off with the usual intro’s ‘Hi I’m Mary (there wasn’t a Mary) and I’m an accountant (Mary wasn’t an accountant either)’.

By the time we were half way round the table, there was about as much enthusiasm in the room, as there would be, if I’d asked people to volunteer to work a 7 day week for the rest of their lives.

When we’d done, the person next to me pointed out the lack of enthusiasm, and I suggested we went back round, only this time we all said why we do what we do. After the initial looks of horror had eased, we set off.

Interestingly after the first few, people slipped back into talking about their product/service and very little ‘why’, with the exception of the passionate ones, who were able to articulate clearly their reason why they leapt out of bed in the morning.

If you want a head start not only tell your why first, but add your passion to it.

When I left, I was waiting for my colleague at reception, and was talking to Cristal (not Mary) and she asked me what do you do? I said I’d rather tell you why I do what I do, then how I do it and then what I do. She said that was really interesting (clearly being polite!) and then I explained why I answered that way. She replied saying ‘but what you do is important to know’.

I asked her what do you do? ‘I’m a facilities manager’ – so I said she was like 100,000’s of other facility managers all over the world. She obviously didn’t like that idea. I then asked her ‘why do you do what you do?’. She replied with real animation and passion ‘I love people and I am passionate about doing a good job, I like to organise things, variety and serving others….’ Immediately she had changed how I now understood that person. I knew her values were passion, people, variety and structure.

Before all I knew was she managed facilities.

So do not sell yourself short, because when you talk about what matters you will be animated and passionate. If you’re not, then it is not what matters.

Life is about what matters and people connect with genuine passion.

True friendships are based on values

Posted on by philipdodson

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There are times in life, when you need to move on from certain people who are have a negative and draining influence on us.

We often don’t even realise the damage that can be done to our own reputations by just being associated with certain people.

It is common, we are on our various journeys and our paths cross with people. At that moment in time, when those paths cross, certain people can be exactly what we need at that moment in time.

However, we can also find that within a few months or even a couple of years, that person has seemed to change or there is an uneasy feeling about our relationship with that person. Often, it is there all along, but we override our instincts. Or peer pressure convinces us that the person is ‘OK’.

It is allowed to move on, it is OK to say to ourselves that this relationship has served a purpose, often for both parties, but now it is time to go our separate ways. It is normal that some relationships only serve us for a short period. There is nothing wrong with that. But some can be more toxic than we realise.

Once you know that you are at that point, then the sooner you do it the better, as the stone in the shoe never goes away by itself.

More often it is because we have evolved as a person and that we have changed, whereas the other person may have stayed the same. Often it is where we think we have aligned values, but then it turns out that the other person has mislead us or is not living by their values.

This is just a part of life and there is no value in over-thinking why a relationship hasn’t turned out how we wanted or expected.

The true friends or relationships that work and last, are ones based on values, where both parties have a good number of shared common values and they are living by them too.

As someone more famous than me said ‘be the change you want to see happen’ and that means having to be honest with ourselves about who we choose to be influenced by in life. It means living by our values and then we attract the right people.

Check your values and then you’ll know what is right for you.