Tag: values

What you look for is what you get

Posted on by philipdodson

So yesterday I posted on Facebook about what you look for is what you get? That got me thinking about that whole thing. Often, none of us realise the signals or messages we are sending out.

looking for

I mean in life, not just business. I hear so many people saying ‘I need these type of clients’. Yet you then listen to their ‘pitch’ and who they are targeting and then you think, that doesn’t match what you are looking for.

Also, people write and talk about certain values and yet in reality their actions don’t match what they say or write. It is a tough one this. None of us are walking on water and perfection is something you should never strive for in my opinion.

I love imperfection and it will only cause no amount of beating yourself up for failing, when you strive to be perfect.

So, I am not sure that, there are many people who live every moment of their life, living completely true to their values. However, the closer what you do, matches what you say you are going to do, then the happier you will be.

So going back to opportunities, we miss so much of what we are looking for in life because we send the wrong message/signals and that can often attract the wrong people/opportunities. This can leave us wondering why.

The reason I think is, if we behave in a way that matches our values and are clear in putting out the message, then that tells others what we want and what we stand for. Then all of sudden, we attract the right people and then those people help us see and unlock the right opportunities.

Often in life, we assume that others can almost read our mind. We say things internally to ourselves about what we want, types of customers, type of partner etc, but then we do not verbalise that message clearly to others.

So we think that we are, but in fact when you stop to look at what we do say or how we act, then you realise, I have many times, that the message is either wrong or we are putting in the wrong way.

It is often useful to write these things down, starting with working out what our values are and what we stand for, then verbalising that in a clear message that others will understand.

Interestingly, once you start doing this, it is amazing how you start to attract the people that you have always wanted to and you seem to find the wrong people, who perhaps you previously attracted and didnt know why, de-select themselves.

Then it is important to put your values into practice in all elements of your life. When I say life I mean exactly that, all to often people, mistakenly in my opinion, live a work life and a home life. They are the same thing. We talk about this work mask and home mask.

I have learnt that happiness and therefore success, only comes if you are yourself and if you are, as often as you can be, are true to your values. Then you surround yourself with the right people and then it is amazing the opportunities that come your way.

You are sending out the right signals, the right messages and that then, like a magnet, pulls towards you all the right opportunities.

Then over time what starts to occur is the compound effect, that gradually week by week, month by month, these consistent small steps create momentum.

However, it all starts with that change in the message, change in the signals. Get yourself happy and put out positive vibes, matched by action and then you start to open the right doors. Then that leads to the next and so on.

The same in reverse, unclear and perhaps negative signals/messages might not open any doors, however, can often open the wrong ones and take you down a different route in life. I know that, cause I have been down the wrong paths many times and not realising it was all due to the wrong outward message.

Rarely do we wake up and say ‘let’s screw things up today’ so often we get frustrated as to why we are not getting what we want. That goes back to my original point, what you look for is what you get. So start looking for the things that you really want and back them up with the words and actions that match that. If they are aligned to your values, then they will make you happy and successful.

What are the keys to success?

Posted on by philipdodson

So I was reading something on Facebook listing the keys to success and that got me thinking about what I would put in a such a list. Not that I disagreed with the poster’s views, it’s just I felt it missed a few things that were for me important.

Also, I am not saying I’m right either, after all success should be a personal thing and not what it looks like for others.

So here goes, here is my take on this and in no particular order of importance, other than the first two for me are essential:

1. Know your values

This is something that I now realise has to be the bedrock of everything in life and if you don’t know what your values are, then success will be hard to come by. Often when something doesn’t feel right, but we’re not sure why, it’s because something is conflicting with our values. It won’t go away and the moment we start to compromise our values, then things start to go wrong.

So not just knowing your values, but living by them. Then decisions in almost everything become straight-forward.

2. Be happy

Happiness leads to success not the other way round. You can choose to be happy or not. It is a mindset that we control and if you have a positive mindset and choose happiness, then success will come in whatever you choose to do.

There is a great book on this called ‘The Happiness Advantage’ by Shawn Achor.

3. Help others

Part of helping us to feel good and therefore happy, is when we help others. It is important to help others without an agenda too. Random acts of kindness have a massive impact on personal well-being and happiness.

4. Believe & never give up

Belief in what you do or your dream is essential for success. It seems an obvious thing to say, but that belief has to be cast iron and with that you have to keep going, whatever shit comes your way on the journey. Never ever give up hope or the belief.

5. Commitment

Once you have your dream and you are full of belief, then you have to work at it, you have to sacrifice things, you have to be prepared to be disciplined and do whatever work is needed to make that dream a reality.

6. Look after yourself

This may again seem an obvious one, but it is important to not only look after yourself physically, but even more critical is to look after your mental well-being. So eat the right stuff, get your sleep, take breaks, do exercise and take time for yourself.

Make sure that you allow time for fun, meditation, and time spent when you switch off from the day to day.

You can only work at warp factor 9 for so long, no matter who you are and spending time on you is vital for success.

For example, just taking 5-10 minutes a day to meditate will have a huge impact on mental and physical health. People who meditate are much happier too.

Taking time to write your thoughts down each day helps unwind and work out challenges. I use 750words.com

7. Collaborate

It is important to realise that you are not brilliant at everything and as long as the others you work with share your values, then collaborating with other people/businesses is a critical element in being successful.

You can then concentrate on what you are best at and as mate Brad Burton says ‘there is no cavalry you have to build your own’.

8. Dare to be great

To many people worry about what the critics might say, don’t. Step into the ‘ring’ and don’t worry about the people sitting on the sidelines, as they didn’t have the courage to step into the ‘ring’ and take the knocks.

There is a great book by Brene Brown called ‘Daring Greatly’ that is a definite read for learning about success.

9. Take the small steps

Once you have a vision of your dream, it is then important to break it all down into manageable steps, that if taken daily with discipline, will lead you to where you want to go. As Mao said ‘A journey of a thousand miles starts with one small step’.

These daily steps are what creates the compound effect that will catapult you and will build the momentum that will lead to reaching your goals.

There is another great book by Darren Hardy called ‘The Compound Effect’ which illustrates this concept brilliantly.

10. Have no fears

Regret is what comes when we allow fears to dominate us and stop us from action. Fears can be overcome, but regrets are very hard to remove. So easier said than done, but don’t fear failure, as mistakes are what makes us stronger.

The mistakes we make, we would make again, even if we could go back in time, as every decision we make is based on our knowledge/experience gained up to the point we make that decision. So it is futile to worry about these things, just move on from mistakes and learn for the future.

11. Enjoy

Again might seem a very obvious thing to put, but we are going to have today and therefore it is better to enjoy the day, have fun and cherish the moments that day brings. Shit will happen some days, but it is how you react to it that will shape your life and success.

12. Surround yourself with the right people

If you are to be a success, you must choose and surround yourself with positive people who have shared values and who will stick by you whatever. This is so important.

As Debbie Huxton my coach talks about ‘remove toxic relationships’.