Tag: Philip Dodson

The biggest kick in the teeth about change

Posted on by philipdodson

The biggest kick in the teeth about change is people, who have known you for long enough and before you changed, still react to you as if you were still that person before you learnt, adapted and changed yourself.

It’s totally understandable, and not that there ever needs to be blame, it is not their fault. You may have behaved a certain way for a long time and that is what people expect from you.

The things is, I need to be patient more patient and understanding with others when they do this to me. I need to realise that everyone rightly has their own pace of change and learning, and in fact who am I even to suggest that others need to change anyway? I am better off focusing on what I’m up to, as that’s the only thing that concerns me.

The only way to show that you have changed how you behave to others is not by words,and if you have behaved in way that you now recognise was wrong, then it is actions over time and repeating the changed behaviour long enough so that the people who matter, that we may have hurt previously can see that you have really changed.

I have previously thought, almost like buying a bunch of flowers, you can just simply make up for wrong choices of behaviour. It takes time, like everything, to demonstrate to people you are different. It means accepting having a kick in the teeth now and again, as I was the one who needed to change.

Just off now to adjust my gum shield.

Stuck in an over-thinking bubble

Posted on by philipdodson

I found myself in an over-thinking bubble today, a kind of vacuum, that I get sucked into, where there is this void. It seems almost unreal and detached from day-to-day life.

It’s empty, except what I fill it with. I fill it with lots of possible outcomes, I fill it with potential obstacles, then I pour in some good old excuses, reasons not to do, just for good measure. There is nothing like talking yourself out of something and building a wall of justification not to do. You can include others in this to just for further complication, thankfully I didn’t use ‘phone a friend’ today to get yet more views to throw into the mixer of despair.

These bubbles used to come more often, like a fucking jacuzzi at times.

Now at least I recognise I’ve got sucked into one, at least now I know it serves no purpose other than keep me from doing anything, like perfection, do nothing removes any room for judgement, failure, criticism, it’s safe.

It’s also frustrating, leads to being demoralised and of course later regret from all the things I wished I’d not talked myself out of.

Is there a solution?

Well, what worked for me today was to grab a pot of Sharpies and a giant piece of paper and instead of stirring all the shit around in my head, I focussed solely on what was in my mind and what I believed needed or I wanted to do.

Just getting it out of my head and on to paper, something visual, and just doing something about how I might manage the things that I did or didn’t want to do led to bursting the over-thinking bubble.

It gave me a chance to think what were the real priorities and how I could perhaps just tackle one of them.

Over-thinking is biggest obstacle between ideas and actions that lead to outcomes.

Think less Philip.