Things don’t fail

Philip Dodson blog

Things don’t fail

The outcome might not be as we anticipated from the outset. Things rarely are.

We have created a myth, similar to the black and white ‘good vs evil’ story, of only two outcomes, win or lose, success or failure.

That is because it is easier to sell the myth, it is easier to always get us to come back for more and there is nothing more powerful than the myth that is a failure.

‘Failure’ needs to be redefined as learning. No need for any negatives, after all, who sets out to fuck things up?

Stop beating yourself up with their myths, create your own rules and simply carry on positively learning from the choices we make.

Better than fearing to do something because you might fail. If there is fear, then that is normally a sign you are onto something, it might not work, but that is how we learn.

Worry

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The thing with worry is it becomes a habit. Once we allow the fear of future outcomes to enter our heads too often, then even when things are running smoothly, there is a habitual tendency to search out for things to start worrying about.

Every single person worries. It is a normal thing.

It is how we choose to react to worry and the habit that we can form to lessen how often we worry that matters.

Normally when something is causing worries, then it matters or is important to us. So learning how to lessen worries will make a difference to the things that matter.

Worry leads to indecision.

Firstly, when something is troubling us, we need to assess a simple thing, is it something that I can do anything to affect the outcome of? Meaning, is it in my control?

Much of what we worry about, is in fact, how others might react, what another person might do to us, not will do to us!

However, we can not control that. So there is little point in worrying about the future reactions of what others will do.

The second action, following the above simple assessment, is if we can control it, then do something to change it. If we are worried about becoming overweight, well we can change our diet, change our exercise regime, we can change our mindset towards this too and so on.

That is the fact about most of the worries we have, is that we are using the fears or worries as an excuse not to change something. So starting of changing our mindset to something is essential.

Worry is always a futile activity. If we can’t change something, then don’t bother worrying. If we can change it, then change it, so no need to worry. If we don’t want to change it, then accept the likely outcome and don’t worry.

Like anything in life, the more often we practice this approach, the less we will worry and that will form a good habit of worrying less.