Tag: Philip Dodson

Run away

Posted on by philipdodson

That’s our natural instinct and I don’t mean from a mad axeman or axewoman, I mean from things that will be emotionally too hard to handle or our inner demons built up from a lifetime of running away.

Often we numb them with comfort eating or binge drinking or drugs or binge watching or social media or any other form of instant chemical gratification. Often we put a mask on and pretend it’s all OK. The ‘I’m tough and resilient’ kind of stiff upper lip bullshit that’s drummed into us all. Soldier on, even though internal you’re crying out for some true understanding and help.

We get angry or lash out and blame others. Rather than deal with what really makes us all angry, ourselves.

No matter how much we numb, no matter how thick the mask is or how far we run away or how deep we try to bury it, the only way is to turn and face the difficult emotions and demons naked of our shields and masks.

We have to be brave enough to be vulnerable, have the courage to dig deep into every story that hurts.

We have to be brave enough to face the pain and re-write the narratives in our own heads.

We have to be strong and resilient to be kind and loving to ourselves.

We have to build up the mental ‘muscles’, habits and true self-disciplines to make changes and stop the temptation of the ‘easier’ option of running.

It’s fucking tough, however, it gets better and better the braver we are prepared to be.

The alternative is never being you and never being at peace and never experiencing a fulfilled and joy filled life, as numbing kills the good and the bad emotions equally, it leaves us scared to fully enjoy the best as the demons are there.

Happiness is over used and overrated and short-term, but deep rooted joy and wholeheartedness and true self-love comes from facing the difficult emotions and demons and moving forward understanding them and adjusting them and removing them.

As ever a journey of learning and a work in progress for me but one that is already changing my life

Turn around and stop running.

I’m not good at that

Posted on by philipdodson

I often say in my head things like ‘I’m not good at that’. Based on what exactly, Philip?

Well, shit feedback from others, parents views, bosses views, and so on. Then I have compounded that by agreeing and telling myself that.

I am gradually learning that this is all just opinion and what others think is irrelevant. What happens is I believe that I am no good at something and it is a self-fulfilling thing, because whenever I am about to attempt to do that thing that I’ve told myself I am shit at, wow, big surprise I remind myself, lose confidence and the result is, guess what? shit.

Now, there are some things that we all have to be realistic about and get used not being much good at them. Ballet is something that springs to mind for me. No amount of positive thinking and practice will ever lead to me being any good at it, sure I could get better, as right now my ballet skills are 0, so the only way is up.

However, I have been over the last few years, and my daily art has really helped this process, been challenging myself to say I can learn to get even better at that and by trying each day two things happen.

One, I realise that no amount of trying will make any difference to some things I try, as I do not really deep down want to or simply can’t get even better at something. This eliminates these things and I can forget about them.

Secondly, the things that I really wanted to try but never did through fear and listening to others, I do get even better at as I try and that is what matters. I focus me getting even better at things that really matter to me.

Then the more you try the easier it becomes and the getting even better gets accelerated and you then have the confidence to try more things as you realise most of what we say to ourselves in our heads as ‘truths’ are simply myths created by fear and listening to others too much.

I can get even better at that rather than I am no good.