I often say in my head things like ‘I’m not good at that’. Based on what exactly, Philip?
Well, shit feedback from others, parents views, bosses views, and so on. Then I have compounded that by agreeing and telling myself that.
I am gradually learning that this is all just opinion and what others think is irrelevant. What happens is I believe that I am no good at something and it is a self-fulfilling thing, because whenever I am about to attempt to do that thing that I’ve told myself I am shit at, wow, big surprise I remind myself, lose confidence and the result is, guess what? shit.
Now, there are some things that we all have to be realistic about and get used not being much good at them. Ballet is something that springs to mind for me. No amount of positive thinking and practice will ever lead to me being any good at it, sure I could get better, as right now my ballet skills are 0, so the only way is up.
However, I have been over the last few years, and my daily art has really helped this process, been challenging myself to say I can learn to get even better at that and by trying each day two things happen.
One, I realise that no amount of trying will make any difference to some things I try, as I do not really deep down want to or simply can’t get even better at something. This eliminates these things and I can forget about them.
Secondly, the things that I really wanted to try but never did through fear and listening to others, I do get even better at as I try and that is what matters. I focus me getting even better at things that really matter to me.
Then the more you try the easier it becomes and the getting even better gets accelerated and you then have the confidence to try more things as you realise most of what we say to ourselves in our heads as ‘truths’ are simply myths created by fear and listening to others too much.
I can get even better at that rather than I am no good.