When we attach ourselves mentally and within to people, things, places, our views, our thoughts and story, then when something affects any of that, then we suffer. Pain comes and we feel as if it is the same as someone or something injuring us.
By not being attached to them through our mind and mental forms, thoughts, then we are free, we are at peace inside and the suffering stops. The ego creates attachment and dependency, it controls us and tries to control others.
Being unattached does not mean that we do not care, it simply means we choose not to suffer inside. In fact, our lack of dependency on things, people, views etc, liberates us to be able to allow our true essence to be and to be able to shine our light for others.
It does not mean we can not have relationships, friends, be with others or have things, it means we can have all of them but without pain that a mental attachment places. It is free from the egoic state of the mind that depends on things, people etc for our happiness.
Dependency and attachment burden us and brings that burden and our suffering to others too.
An unattached life, conscious and free from suffering will enable our soul to shine for us and other souls.
Philip Dodson 