2 choices

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Often we hear that there are two choices. Carry-on or give in, fit in or f… off and so on. It’s my way or the highway.

There are many more choices between these two extremes.

Nothing has to be black or white, in or out.

Life is better without extremes, without ultimatums, no need for guns to the head.

All we need to do is to imagine more choices, imagine better options and avoid win/lose situations where rarely anyone ‘wins’.

The 3rd or 4th or even 50th choice might just be something that will make a difference for all.

I was wrong

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Society has developed this attitude to ‘my rights’ and ‘never admit liability’ in an accident. We seem unable to accept we may have been wrong, it is seen as a weakness, it is seen as giving in and not being this ‘strong’ person that we are all meant to be.

Admitting you was wrong means accepting vulnerability, it means that you are self-aware and willing to learn.

It is a strength.

It requires bravery.

It requires accountability.

Blame is a waste of time, including blaming yourself. Perhaps it could be seen more as, not being wrong, but more a willingness to compromise, a willingness to change future outcomes, by learning what didn’t happen as anticipated.

We allow our limbic ‘chimp’ brains to over-power us sometimes, and this is where the black and white, win at all cost mentality suffocates compromise, suffocates accountability and ultimate suffocates learning.

It does not mean that we have to abandon what we believe in, but in order to inspires others, rather than coerce, we need to be able to compromise, empathise and understand where we can be better.

So more than being wrong, it’s being able to compromise, learn and modify going forward.

The endless pursuit of right or wrong, someone to blame, is an excuse to avoid being accountable and developing ourselves.