Tag: worthiness

Some days

Posted on by philipdodson

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Some days are a blur, for many, whole weeks, months or even a lifetime.

We’re in another world or just not tuned in.

Often, that is because we believe being almost frantically busy is good.

We have subscribed to the myth that busy and ‘achieving’ things, even if most of them we don’t know why we are doing, equates to success. Ultimately we believe it will make us worthy.

Worthiness and success are not related to achievement.

Busy is often a good way of avoiding something and not dealing with what matters. ‘I have no time for that’.

The key to happiness is to cherish life and the moments that matter, it is to do less, and that means carefully choosing what matters.

Focus only on what matters, what you will remember with real fondness at the end of the journey.

Take your time to enjoy each step of your life.

Winning and losing

Posted on by philipdodson

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The game of winning and losing is engrained in our culture.

Arguments, races, elections, fights, and the list goes on. They all require a winner or a loser.

It’s to do with this false sense of worthiness that we attach to achievements and being the ‘winner’.

We are no more worthy a person if win or lose. Our worthiness in life is not defined by the outcome of a single race, an argument or any battle.

In relationships with others, the concept of winning or losing arguments is flawed. As the winner, deep down, rarely feels good about winning and the loser never feels good. Short-term winning the argument may seem like a success, but longer-term no one wins from making the other person feel like the loser.

Compromise, finding mutually acceptable solutions, where we can all feel good about the outcome is what counts.

That’s not weakness, it is the very opposite. Only brave people are willing to adjust to other people’s points of view. That does not mean that you have to be a doormat, always accepting other people’s views or perhaps even accepting people’s bad choices of behaviour towards us.

However, if someone matters and the relationship is important, then compromise is the only way to accommodate differences.

In order to bring that change about, we have to be willing to be first and not wait for others. All the time it remains a battle of right or wrong, black or white, win or lose, then no change will occur and no one will feel good.

We can not control others, they may still choose not to change. We could choose to remain unaffected by how others behave towards us.

After all, we need to define our own happiness.