Life happens at the edge

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If you always stay in the middle of the circle, in the middle of your comfort zone with the crowd, sure it is safe and cosy. It is what we are encouraged to do, right from the beginning of our lives, be safe. But rebel, do not accept cosy.

The things that you will remember at the end of your life’s journey happen at the edges of the circle, where there is the most risk. That does not have to be recklessness and foolishly endangering your life, there is a lot for all of us in between dangerous and safe.

The closeness to the edges and the circles we choose are all subjective and should be what is right for us. But the further you go from the centre, the more risk increases and the more the opportunity for feeling alive does too.

It takes a habit forming routine of overcoming the fear of being vulnerable, mostly mentally and sometimes physically. It takes a willingness to overcome our inner self, the biggest hurdle to letting go.

If we never push ourselves out to the edges of our circle, then we miss bumping into other circles, we miss the chance to move to another zone, we miss seeing what is at the very edge of our zone.

Life is about experiences, not possessions. Personalise it to what you want, but don’t stay in the middle.

I was wrong

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Society has developed this attitude to ‘my rights’ and ‘never admit liability’ in an accident. We seem unable to accept we may have been wrong, it is seen as a weakness, it is seen as giving in and not being this ‘strong’ person that we are all meant to be.

Admitting you was wrong means accepting vulnerability, it means that you are self-aware and willing to learn.

It is a strength.

It requires bravery.

It requires accountability.

Blame is a waste of time, including blaming yourself. Perhaps it could be seen more as, not being wrong, but more a willingness to compromise, a willingness to change future outcomes, by learning what didn’t happen as anticipated.

We allow our limbic ‘chimp’ brains to over-power us sometimes, and this is where the black and white, win at all cost mentality suffocates compromise, suffocates accountability and ultimate suffocates learning.

It does not mean that we have to abandon what we believe in, but in order to inspires others, rather than coerce, we need to be able to compromise, empathise and understand where we can be better.

So more than being wrong, it’s being able to compromise, learn and modify going forward.

The endless pursuit of right or wrong, someone to blame, is an excuse to avoid being accountable and developing ourselves.