Tag: toxic relationships

Going back to the same pain

Posted on by philipdodson

When we realise that relationships with others are toxic for us there is always a period where we keep going back for the same pain because of fear of the other person’s reaction.

We want to see the best in others especially friends and even more so family, which is good.

We do not want to admit to ourselves that time spent with them always leaves us feeling bad afterwards.

We perhaps blame ourselves or say ‘I need to be more patient’ or ‘I need to be more understanding’.

However, there comes a point, when we’ve set boundaries, explained to the other person how they make us feel, when patience and understanding will only lead to the pain continuing.

We have to let go and step away and respect ourselves. Simply by doing this it allows the pain the other person causes to subside, it often gives the other person time for reflection and hopefully change.

Ultimately we have to care for and respect ourselves.

Don’t keep going back for more pain for the sake of the other person. We do not need to accept toxic people.

Gloomy times

Posted on by philipdodson

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We all have gloomy times in life, times when things seem against us or dark clouds are parked over our heads.

At the time, it can seem like there is no coming back or no way out or things will remain this way forever.

The fact is all things pass with time and what seems bad now, will feel better even in a few hours and certainly by the next day. However, it is all a question of choice.

Often we choose to wallow in the bad, we use it to seek attention and to help justify that we are a victim.

The world isn’t stacked against us or anyone else, no one is out to get us and we are no more or less worthy than anyone else.

We have the option to choose to let things go, to realise that there is a reason for things and to try and teach ourselves not to see things as bad or not to see them as others against us.

Accepting things and moving on speeds up the process and if others are doing things that have a negative impact on our feelings, then like anything that is toxic, the best thing to do is to remove that from our lives and not look back.

A great friend of mine always says to me ‘step away from the package’.