Tag: strength

Rowing our own boat

Posted on by philipdodson

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Life is a journey that we are not meant to do alone.

Sure we all like our freedoms and independence. We do not like being told what to do, we like to make our own decisions.

However, we are much more successful if we collaborate and work with others.

In order to do that, we have to learn to accept help from others and this is where most of us struggle, as we are taught to see asking for help as a weakness, instead of a strength.

In order to be good at helping others, we need to learn to accept help too.

Being tough is, in fact, the opposite and letting our shields down and being open to receiving help is being brave.

Rowing your own boat is hard work, lonely and it will take you a lot longer to reach your destination.

I was wrong

Posted on by philipdodson

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Society has developed this attitude to ‘my rights’ and ‘never admit liability’ in an accident. We seem unable to accept we may have been wrong, it is seen as a weakness, it is seen as giving in and not being this ‘strong’ person that we are all meant to be.

Admitting you was wrong means accepting vulnerability, it means that you are self-aware and willing to learn.

It is a strength.

It requires bravery.

It requires accountability.

Blame is a waste of time, including blaming yourself. Perhaps it could be seen more as, not being wrong, but more a willingness to compromise, a willingness to change future outcomes, by learning what didn’t happen as anticipated.

We allow our limbic ‘chimp’ brains to over-power us sometimes, and this is where the black and white, win at all cost mentality suffocates compromise, suffocates accountability and ultimate suffocates learning.

It does not mean that we have to abandon what we believe in, but in order to inspires others, rather than coerce, we need to be able to compromise, empathise and understand where we can be better.

So more than being wrong, it’s being able to compromise, learn and modify going forward.

The endless pursuit of right or wrong, someone to blame, is an excuse to avoid being accountable and developing ourselves.