Tag: support

There are many gifts you can give

Posted on by philipdodson

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For birthdays, Christmas, Easter, anniversaries, weddings, divorces, whatever occasion the consumer driven industrialised world has created for us to feel the need to give gifts, there are many things we can purchase, wrap and give to another.

However, the greatest gift we can give others is our time.

Time to listen.

Time to help.

Time to support.

Time to give a hug.

Whatever gift you can give that involves you giving your time to another human being is a gift that cannot be bought on Amazon. It leaves a memory, a legacy, a shared experience that will not collect dust on a shelf or end up in a landfill full of meaningless gifts that recipient didn’t need.

Give your time to others, it’s one of the best routes to true joy and happiness in our lives.

Why is there so little empathy?

Posted on by philipdodson

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If we asked ourselves, what do we prefer as a reaction from others, sympathy or empathy?

Most of us would prefer empathy. We want people to understand and share our feelings. We do not want pity or sorrow.

Sympathy normally involves this attempt to makes us ‘feel’ better, actually more trying to get us to not moan and ‘suck it up’ and get on. People say things like ‘well at least the other leg is OK’ or ‘could have been worse, you could have been killed’ or ‘well at least you’ve got some savings’. The list could go on.

What most of us want is someone to listen, to understand, to be able to be in our shoes, and to share the feelings. We do not want solutions or opinions or judgements, we want someone to share it with, someone who relates to how we are feeling.

The world offers sympathy, which is seen as kind, yet I would question that. I think the kind thing to do, is not to say ‘shut up moaning and count your blessings, and get on’, it is to listen, relate, understand and share the feelings of others. Helping them to understand that you have experienced what they are feeling, it’s normal, it’s OK and that you have dealt with it.

The reason there is little empathy, is it requires more time, more understanding and perhaps will lead to challenging how we deal with things in life.

The world would be a more harmonious place if we choose empathy rather than sympathy. Understanding others requires compromise and it requires bravery.