Be yourself and be grateful for what you have

I have read two amazing pieces written by two people who I count myself lucky to know and while the original connecting was through business networking, it has developed into friendship, which is how it should be.

People from the old school world, that I am passionate about changing, are always rabbiting on about being professional. That word always genuinely makes me laugh-out-loud. Essentially you are always told not to mix personal and business.

Thankfully, the world is changing, more and more people are realising that work/business/life is all the same thing and there is no need to have these different personas for each.

My mate Brad sums it up perfectly, he rightly says ‘be 100% yourself, 100% of the time’ and that is absolutely spot on.

In my business, I want customers, partners, suppliers etc. to be people who like me for who I am and want to do business with me, because they like my values and how I am.

Equally I want friends, who are my friends because they accept the real me, not some image or face I put on for friends, then a different one for work and then another one for home.

What a palaver, just be who are really are and who you really want to be. That brings me back to the posts.

So the first one is by Dee, who I have got to know through networking and now I count her as a friend, in fact someone who I completely trust and know that she wouldn’t let me down and would help if she could. That’s if she is not admitted herself into some NHS establishment, that sounds like she’s mad, but that is really not the case.

So the link below is a link to her blog ‘Hindsight is a wonderful thing’

Dee Atkins

This is one of the bravest posts that I read and it shows that Dee is prepared to show her vulnerability. It also shows us some really valuable insights and lessons that we can all learn from.

Vulnerability is something that we are all taught from a very early age, by parents, school and more laterly by society in general, that we shouldn’t show it. I am not talking about the very manipulative and cynical celeberity vulnerability, where they breakdown and share inner secrets with a select 100 million viewers.

It is good to be vulnerable, as it shows that you are prepared to step into the ‘ring’ and take on the fight, not sit in the sidelines criticising and moaning.

The haters in the world never step into the ring, they never take on their demons, opponents, they never dare to be great. It is not the critic that counts as Theodore Roosevelt said:

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

There is an absolutely brilliant book written by Brene Brown called ‘Daring Greatly’ that really covers this much more eloquently and in greater detail, written by a person who has spent years on this.

Society in general is all about fear, scarcity and shaming people. This is why we are all fearful of letting the shield down ,frightened to dare to be our real selves. Dee has demonstrated that she is prepared to step into that ring and dare to be great.

The second piece, written by Richard, the Appman and the Power of Cat Flap no sorry Flat Cap (in joke sorry), another friend who was originally a business connection via social media and then networking.

This piece is equally as powerful as Dee’s and equally as inspirational. Richard’s piece is inspired by a sudden personal tragedy and one which many have to face.

However, Richard has faced this in a very positive way and has again dared to be great and approach it differntly to how many of us might.

So here is a link to Richard’s post ‘Your whole life can change in an instant’

The thing for me that stands out from Richard’s post is that he has really put into perspective what is really important in life and that it is the people, something that i write about a lot and has become a real passion of mine.

None of us know what is around the corner in our life, not just with our own lives, but with the ones that we love. After reading Richard’s post today, I phoned my Mum, I told my wife & kids that I loved them and counted myself as blessed for what I have.

We need to live a life of being grateful, appreciative of what we have and I don’t mean the shallow things like possessions or money. I mean grateful for the people who matter in our lives, as we never know when that is going to change.

So the message I get from Dee is don’t be afraid to be or become the real you and from Richard, to appreciate what really matters in life.

Those two things, if you conquer them and live by them, are all that matters. Then you can reflect that you have been a success.

One day away from an Albatross

Today is just one day away from being an albatross and that’s not to be sniffed at! It means I will have completed 30 days of writing my 750 words each day in a row without missing a single day.

albatross

It’s funny by having the arbitrary levels, that they have set, motivates me to keep going, I mean all I get is an online badge with a graphic of an albatross on it, it’s not like I even get a picture and I am certainly not going to be given the real thing as an award. Not that I’d know what to do with a real albatross, that has a wingspan of 12 feet. Plus I guess a real albatross would eat a lot of fish and smell pretty bad.

It shows that by having something to aim for no matter how small, has a big impact on our focus. It isn’t about the badge itself, it’s actually about the status of it and that as you write more and more, without a break, and as you write quicker, you reach an elite of writers on 750 words.

This is interesting in life, that we are often driven by very odd things. People set off thinking that it is going to be all about money and the perceived status that can be bought by money. As you get more money, you can naturally upgrade your status by having bigger and better stuff than the ‘Jones’ and therefore have more bragging opportunities.

However, most people work out that the money motivation wears thin pretty quickly and that it only tends to lead to dissatisfaction when you cant keep up. You then feel like you have failed because you can’t afford the next financial upgrade to your life.

Anyway so my point about the badges in 750 words is, that they were put there by the guys who wrote the app and they decided that 30 days of continuous writing was to be awarded an albatross. It could have been 28 days and you get a goat or 35 days and you get a goldfish.

The fact is that badge is enough to keep me going, especially as I have got closer and closer to it. Also the other factor in this, once you have gone so far from the ‘shore’ you feel less like giving up, as you have put so much in already. I have invested now approximately 14 hours of writing and about 22K words.

Therefore, the trick to this is to find other areas of your life that you can apply this to. After all, I can set my own badges for my own goals that I can achieve. In fact not just a badge, but a reward as well as a badge.

The badge is the recognition, the status symbol, that to be honest we all need in life. Not a materialistic badge, as they are just shallow.

So I am going to think overnight and add to my routines some badges that I can add, like to my weight loss target, to my marketing goals, in fact to any target or goal that I have set myself in my biz or life.

The next step is to then add a reward to each stage that I reach. Rewards are a critical part of success. Now for example, each pound I take off on the way to my target weight of 15 stone by end of October, I could reward myself with chips and a doughnut – joking. But I could say that each pound I lose, I could put some money towards a massage or some new sports kit etc.

It is important to celebrate success and it is important to get recognition from peers/family/friends. The measure of what success looks like is personal to all of us and it only you that can decide.

Success is a funny thing, that we tend to often look at it in very black & white terms. It’s either 100% success or we have failed. There is often no in between, we have it hounded into us that 2nd place is a failure. Life needs to be lived in the grey zone. Therefore we need to have a different outlook on success and realise that we rarely achieve 100% total success and therefore, we need to say that partial success is OK and isn’t a failure.

Failure really does not belong anywhere, as it is an opportunity to learn and then to be forgotten about and moved on from.

So add badges to your goals and celebrate the steps to your realistic success.