Stop burning people with the magnifying glass

IMG_8060

My coach Debbie taught me (well lots of other things too) a few years ago to step away from ‘the package’, to leave situations to be that are outside of my control. The fact is we can only control ourselves and what we do. We can inspire others, but not control.

Yet often we waste energy trying to control others, which has the opposite effect to the one want, as no one likes to feel controlled.

When we step away, often things that seemed unsolvable solve themselves. That’s because we have let go and others are then free to decide without attempts by us to engineer an outcome.

My new favourite thing she has taught me is to take the magnifying glass away from people. Often we have others intensely under a magnifying glass constantly analysing what they are doing, almost ‘burning’ them up.

Like stepping away from ‘the package’, it’s liberating to remove the magnifying glass and accept people and just let things be.

It’s amazing again how great that feels for you and for the person you have been analysing.

Magic happens when we stop trying too hard.

Let life be, stop ‘burning’ people.

What can we do? we’ve all got gold medals for talking

goldmedals

I hear from many the words ‘well, what can we do? we can’t change it’.

There is talking, one of my specialists skills, if there was an Olympic medal for it, I would have been getting gold medals every four years.

Until very recently, I would not have been getting many medals in the ‘doing’ Olympic’s, I was yet another one of the complainers, critics, and moaners.

Then I learnt that moaning was a waste of time, as all the things I had moaned about for many years, had not change a single bit. Often they seemed to be getting worse, they weren’t it was my negative mindset. In fact 99% of what I moaned about was entirely my problem.

I then learnt to stop just criticising and I learnt that you have to start taking action.

Small steps, that are possible to easily action, simply because they are small and in themselves quiet insignificant as a one-off action.

However, I have learnt that by doing them each and everyday, OK get real not every single day, but more days than the days I don’t, has created real change of significance.

I have my daily success rituals, thanks to my coach Debbie, thanks to the inspiration of others who use this way of getting things done, of making a difference – like Richard, Bernie, and thanks to me for being wise enough to apply the lessons of a lifetime that have lead me to completely change.

I was only talking about this with Doug yesterday, who has done several of these ritual things, like his 100 days of happiness, and is currently on a 200 day streak of meditation and the positive changes that has had to his life.

So what can you change? ourselves. Then we can change anything given time by taking small steps, well.