Tag: comparison

Popularity

Posted on by philipdodson

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The numbers of RT’s, FB likes or shares matter not.

Popular people do not live more fulfilling lives, they are not more worthy human beings, they are not anything different to anybody else.

It is how we perceive popularity and people we regard as popular, usually measured by quantities of something – money, likes, friends and so on. Its dictionary definition is ‘the state or condition of being liked, admired, or supported by many people’.

It is more about our society and the fact we have created a measure of worthiness by what we achieve, own, the number of friends and so on. We allow other people’s rules to define how we view ourselves.

Comparison to others is a complete waste of time and energy.

Worthiness does not need to be measured or defined, as that is the antithesis of what worthy is. As Brene Brown says ‘we are all already worthy’. We do not need to prove that, every single person is born equal and worthy. If we accept that we are worthy, then popularity is meaningless.

It is our perception of what is important that creates this need to be liked. We are not here for everyone, we have our own uniquesness, our own values and we need to be 100% ourselves.

Do not aim for popularity, aim for being genuinely you.

As the people who will appreciate us without judgement will not care if we are popular or not. Nor should we care how others are percieved.

Just focus on reminding yourself every day that you are already worthy. Be you, be proud of you, be happy and live your own life without comparison to others.

Other people’s rules

Posted on by philipdodson

rules

All too often we say ‘by now I should be _______’. This is when we fall into the comparison drama with others and where we perceive them to be versus us. We automatically assume that everything in this other person’s life is much better than our own. We tell ourselves that we have failed, as we have not reached the ‘level’ of others.

Why do we allow others to dictate to us where we should be, or should be doing, with our lives? Why do we feel this need to compare ourselves to others?

Firstly the word is ‘could’ not ‘should’ as there is no preset laid out plan with achievement levels that we need to have reached. ‘Could’ gives us the freedom to choose for ourselves. ‘Should’ is a negative, it implies a duty.

Secondly, it does not matter where we are with our lives. It is up to us to decide what success looks like to us. It is a personal thing, not the business of others, as it is not ours to judge anyone else’s success.

What others think is not important in the slightest. Comparisons are always going to have a negative impact on our mindset and success. We all have our own lives, we are not other people, and what they have or have not achieved is not relevant to us.

All that matters is what our dreams are, and working step by step to achieve them. Do not live by the rules of others, create your own, that’s if you need rules at all, but just be focused on you and what you want to do with your life.

After all what is right or wrong is just an opinion.