Tag: change

Self development, is it worth it?

Posted on by philipdodson

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Is it better to stay uninformed about what is happening in our heads? Is it better to be ignorant about ourselves? Is it better not to analyse ourselves? Is it better to not even stop and think, to just get on with life?

We live in a world of more and more self-analysis, more and more self-improvement, self-development. We no longer look at the bottom of Maslow’s triangle, we are seeking self-fulfilment. We are more than ever searching for the meaning of life.

We are now looking into every aspects of how our brains work, or not, how we should behave, what we should say, we are looking at every aspect of our inner self. We are consuming strategies and the latest teachings in vast quantities.

There are so many books on this subject, that I am sure, if they were all piled one on top of the other would reach the moon. There are more ‘gurus’, ‘experts’ and ‘life coaches’ than you can shake a stick at.

Yet are we any better off knowing? Have we progressed? Are our lives now stress free, clear and happy?

It is not about whether we should do this self-improvement or become self-aware or not. It is about whether or not you want to change.

It is also realising, that no matter how many coaches, guru’s , experts, courses, books etc. that you use or consume, if you do not want to change and if you do not apply the learning, the knowledge, then you might as well not bother.

Learning about ourselves and making changes is a painful process, it is hard work, it takes commitment, it is not a quick fix and then give up. You need to be in it for the long-haul, you need to want to learn, apply that and really change.

Like many things in life we either give up because there are no immediate results, or we give up because it has become hard, or the process opens up things about ourselves, that initially we find difficult to see how we can change.

The process is about cutting new pathways in the brain, and in order to make sure those new pathways stay open, we have to keep going back the new path, while the old pathway is left to become over-grown.

It is all about changing habits, and in order to change habits, you have to want to. The desire to change comes from knowing why we want to change, there has to be a strong compelling reason to change you.

If there isn’t, then don’t start the process, stay uninformed.

If there is, then be prepared for a long journey, be prepared for ups and downs, be prepared to commit. But also be inspired by the progress, by the changes you are making, celebrate them, reward yourself and encourage yourself. It takes years to undo habits of a lifetime.

No matter how hard it has been, I am so glad that I decided to change me and I am and have been on an amazing journey of self-development, self-awareness. I am now happier than I have ever been as I am finally becoming me.

You do need others to help you and not just for a quick fix, you need them for the journey for advice, ideas, support and all the things that good people bring to your life. But at the end of the day you have to be prepared to help yourself and not rely on others to fix you, you have to apply the knowledge that others can bring you.

The best equipped person to help you is you, after all you have be present for every moment of your life journey.

So before starting to make changes, make sure you know why and ensure that you really want to change.

Changing myself to change the world

Posted on by philipdodson

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So what is the story about? Well it’s about my journey and how, like a phoenix, I am rising up from the ashes of life that has, like many others, been scarred by the old school industrialised world.

A scaring that has to a greater or lesser degree blighted all but a small few. In fact many of them too, who sell us the dream, are disillusioned and ‘damaged’ by the systematic process we all go through to ensure we comply.

The system that has turned many of us into ubiquitous, interchangeable cogs in their ‘machine’, to be used, and then replaced when it suits the ‘machine’.

I started off a rebel in life, never wanting to fit in. Ready, as Seth Godin puts it, to ’cause a ruckus’, however, gradually the system get’s us all to comply. I ended up chasing the ‘dream’, where we exchange our freedom, our soul, for a life of servitude. Hopefully in return, we get ever more money, which we then use to purchase trinkets and stuff, that we mainly do not need.

But we are lead to believe, that money will enable us to buy the status symbols to demonstrate to others that we’ve reached a certain level of success. We are told work hard, get ahead, earn more money to buy a ‘lifestyle’. That is cynically sold to us by the manipulative corporations, and then, only then, we will reach the Nirvana of happiness.

Typically for most, neither the job or the money lead to anything that enriches our lives, they are often soulless, and when we reach the end of the journey, we’ll realise we consumed a lot of stuff, we worked hard, we sacrificed any kind of meaningful times for the job.

Then, when it is too late, we will wish we’d worked less, not worried about money, and instead did the thing that really meant something to us, and spent time with the people we loved, with the people who mattered.

We will want to leave behind a meaningful legacy not a collection of stuff for the landfill.

So I was hurtling towards the cliff edge, on a train where the breaks had failed, and everything in my wake was being wiped out. I was overweight, unhealthy, I had become a moaner, a discontent, judgemental and was fixed on the money and not on people.

As a consequence, my business was falling apart, I had the wrong relationships with the people who mattered, and it was unlikely to end well. After, what was in reality, probably a decade of becoming the wrong person, after many unhappy years, depression and bad health, I had a series of wake ups and a series of moments, that lead to the transformation that I am now on.

Like most of us, I believed in many things that the system told me were the ‘truths’, that I have now realised were not the ‘truths’. I also realised that we are here for meaningful things, not shallow material things. I always thought that leopards can’t change their spots, that you can not change yourself, your personality, well I now know that you can, you just have to want to, to choose to. You have to listen to yourself and not ‘them’.

So I stopped moaning, quiet literally just choose to not moan again about anything, I choose to cut out the news, the mainstream messages of the system, ditch TV, stop reading a paper, to change the people who were influencing me, making me the person I never really was.

However, I had realised that in the process of change, I had become an armchair critic of the system, so in fact talking but not doing, I had realised, armed now with my mission it was time to talk and more importantly do.

I am on a mission to create an alternative world, one based on values, based on people, and it is world for all, not just a tiny few.

It is about creating strong virtual and physical communities, that want to think, work, live and be different. To bypass the failed industrialised system, to abandon the meaningless consumption of the Capitalist religion and to build an alternative based on love, kindness, empathy, compassion, happiness and support.

To do stuff that is meaningful, creative and going to make a real difference.

A system that will be focused on the human race, and not on greed, hate, anger, fear, shaming and judgement.

My core personal values are freedom, community (people, friends & family), leadership, fun and transparency.

I dream of building a better world, so all are free from any form of slavery, poverty, iniquities, free from control, free to do their thing, free to enjoy the gift of life. Every human no matter what colour or race or religion or anything else, should have that opportunity to be truly free not just the few. After all, as Brene Brown brilliantly puts, we are all ‘already worthy’ no matter what we achieve.

I know many will say that this is utopian, unrealistic, fluffy and the world has always been a certain way. Well just because something has not been done, does not mean that it is not possible, after all the US Patent Office considered closing in 1900, as everything that could be invented, had already been invented, apparently.

We can not put limits on ourselves, we have to be brave, we have to challenge the status quo and we have to work together to save humanity from destroying our physical world, from further destruction to the other life forms that share our planet and to stop humans from self-destruction.

It is up to all of us to do are small bit to create change, to connect and build a different future. As more and more choose the alternative, a tipping point comes, the momentum of change becomes unstoppable and real big change happens.

I have realised my mission in life, so I am making my start, by working with others to build the New World Project. I don’t care how long that takes to make change and if it helps just one, two, a hundred or many, to live a better life, then I’ll have made a difference and will be happy with my legacy that I leave.

Let me know if you want to get involved, connect on Twitter or ping me a email.