Stories

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Life is a series of stories involving us and others, can be just us, although rarely.

There is always the beginning where something happens, something is instigated, an event, a decision and a new story is born.

Then there is always a finale, a denouement, a punch line, an ending of this particular story.

The hard part is the middle bit, the part where we do not yet know the ending, how it will play out.

It’s important to keep going in the hard part, this is where we play our bit in deciding the ending. This where life happens between the start and the end. It is a series of stories, not just one life story.

The vital thing in all the stories that involve us, especially during the unknown middle section, is to make sure we write our own part. It is the only part we control and it is no good allowing others to write our script or direct us.

Don’t let others write our part of life’s stories, we have to own our part.

Should or could

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‘Should’ is a commonly used word in life and one that expresses regret.

‘I should have known better’ – well you didn’t. ‘I should have said…’ – well you didn’t. The pattern will repeat for every ‘I should have…’.

Regret is a waste of time once you accept that we live in a determined world, that the choices you make were the only ones you could have made at that moment, based on your experiences, knowledge, mindset etc up to that point in your life.

What has happened has happened. No change can take place.

‘Could’ is a word rarely used and it expresses optimism, change, opportunity, and applying the knowledge we’ve gained. ‘I could choose not to do that again’ or ‘I could choose to say this next time’.

Firstly ‘could’ has more than one option and secondly it as all about something we can alter, shape and change – the now and the future.

‘Should’ in the past is futile. ‘Should’ as in the future tense is negative, limiting and applies a pressure to you, where ‘could’ gives us infinite options including not doing it.

Perhaps we could start using ‘could’ more.