A bad choice

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Is there such a thing?

We often hear people say ‘she made a bad choice’ or ‘that was a really bad decision’.

These statements are always made with hindsight and they are often made by others in a critical way. Although, we do say to ourselves ‘I made a bad choice’.

What purpose does it serve to point that out to others or to ourselves? No purpose at all, it will never make us feel good.

We are conditioned to catch others or ourselves doing something wrong. Parents, teachers, employers, the system, and ourselves, seemed to be focussed on wrong decisions. It is all about control, another thing that we seemed to be obsessed with.

Why do we not talk so much about good choices, ‘I made a great choice there’ and celebrate it?

The ‘bad choice’ wasn’t a bad one at the time we made it. No one sets out in the day to mess things up. Every choice that we make, at that moment in time, was the only choice we would have made. Even if we had time machines to go back, which we don’t, yet, we would still make the same choice. That’s because all the choices we make are based on our current mindset, our experience/knowledge up to that point in our lives.

So no point in even dwelling on bad outcomes of choices we made, or listening to the criticism from others. We could just focus instead on celebrating the good choices and realising that we have now and the future to learn from all our choices.

It is all a matter of choice, and once you know the outcome that suits you and your life, then we know the choice to make for our lives. As a ‘bad choice’ is a question of perspective and it’s the outcome we wanted that matters, not the thoughts of the critics.

Changing the questions

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Today I met Amanda, at a very posh coworking space, We Work, and it happened through the power of Twitter, well partly.

So sitting last week a notification popped up from Twitter saying ‘Amanda C Watts, is now following you’. I have to be honest, I don’t always look at these notifications, as I am training myself not to be a magpie and look at the next shiny new thing

Anyway, I replied with ‘thanks for following, can I ask why do you do what you do? replying in 140 characters might be a challenge’.

The response from Amanda was ‘help people build their dreams. I am on a mission to help 1 million people leave a legacy so I can leave mine’.

She asked me the same, my response ‘I am on a mission to create an alternative world based on putting people first and values. A world for the many not just a few’.

Today we met for the first time. I had a great conversation, realised that we had common values, had other things in common and agreed to connect further, and who knows what will come from it.

So the point of this, had I just followed back or replied with ‘thanks for following, what do you do?’. She might have replied ‘I’m a coach’ and when Amanda asked me, I might have replied ‘I run a coworking space’.

The meeting probably wouldn’t have happened.

If you want a different outcome, ask a different question.