Tag: worthy

Bad person versus bad choices

Posted on by philipdodson

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If someone lies to you, or says something hurtful, or makes a wrong choice that has a negative outcome for you or others, then society has conditioned us to see them as a bad person.

It is all part of the shaming culture. Someone lies, they are a liar, which is a label that sticks and the ‘liar’ feels that is what they are and there is no redemption, no way out.

Instead, it is better to see that people make bad choices, and that doesn’t make them a bad person. A bad choice can be corrected and the person has a chance to learn and adjust their behaviour going forward.

We all are trying to do the best we can in life for ourselves and our families etc, no one sets out to do bad things.

Once you can accept this, then it is easy to let go of others bad choices, to forgive and to move on.

There is no benefit from labelling others as bad.

We may choose to move on from that person if they keep repeating the bad choices or if they are having a negative impact on us.

But it still does not make them a bad person.

Having your cake and eating it

Posted on by philipdodson

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Rather than getting off the fence, we all too often want our ‘cake and eat it’.

Simply put we want the best of both worlds, we don’t want to feel like we’re missing out on something. So we try hard to achieve too many things all at once, hoping that we can have everything all at the same time.

The thing is, you can have your ‘cake and eat it’ if you focus on what you already have. Most of us already have all that we need in life, yet we expend a huge amount of energy on trying to get things we don’t have or actually don’t need.

What we need, is not more money or possessions, it’s belonging, love, kindness, to feel worthy, people, friends, family and memories of activities we did with the people who matter.

If you realise you will always have the ‘cake’ every day, it’s there because you are choosing happiness and contentment with what you have.

Then you can ‘eat’ and the next day it will be replenished by your mindset, there will be another ‘cake’. We can create all the ‘cakes’ we need. We just need to accept that, be content and enjoy what we have.

Discontent is the tool of the industrialised system to lead us to constantly want more, it is how we feel we are able to reach contentment and happiness. Keep getting more and more. It’s a myth.

Happiness and acceptance of what we have are the perfect antidotes to discontent and feeling inadequate.

We only want the best of both worlds when we are striving for things we don’t have and actually don’t need.

Accept what you have and be happy.