Tag: pain

Meaningful pain

Posted on by philipdodson

Despite what the latest Instagram post or the happy-clappy gurus on Facebook chant every morning, we can not always be happy, shit happens and always will.

The thing is without meaningful pain we can not and will not suffer enough to learn lessons and to be determined to move forward.

Suffering without meaning equals despair and that can bit be sustained by anyone, but if you’ve read Frankl’s “man search for meaning” you’ll know he survived unimaginable pain and suffering because he had a purpose. The greater the meaning, the lower or even no despair. Chip Conley’s “Emotional Equation” book explains it so well, definitely worth a read.

Happiness is peddled as something we need to strive for as it makes money and often happiness is linked to material consumption, working harder, achieving grades etc.

Of course, happiness is good, but so is pain too, well meaningful pain.

Going back to the same pain

Posted on by philipdodson

When we realise that relationships with others are toxic for us there is always a period where we keep going back for the same pain because of fear of the other person’s reaction.

We want to see the best in others especially friends and even more so family, which is good.

We do not want to admit to ourselves that time spent with them always leaves us feeling bad afterwards.

We perhaps blame ourselves or say ‘I need to be more patient’ or ‘I need to be more understanding’.

However, there comes a point, when we’ve set boundaries, explained to the other person how they make us feel, when patience and understanding will only lead to the pain continuing.

We have to let go and step away and respect ourselves. Simply by doing this it allows the pain the other person causes to subside, it often gives the other person time for reflection and hopefully change.

Ultimately we have to care for and respect ourselves.

Don’t keep going back for more pain for the sake of the other person. We do not need to accept toxic people.