The difference between unkind and honest

I often write about being kind to ourselves and how we speak to ourselves is so important. We would never speak to others in the unkind way we often talk to ourselves in our heads. The beating up routine never, ever, ever, ever leads to a positive change and a great outcome.

However, being unkind is not the same as being honest with ourselves. We do need to be honest and not kid ourselves. It doesn’t have to be done in a mean way, it is best to do it in a constructive way, but we have to be realistic, as there is just no point in telling ourselves or believing we are doing or being something that we are not.

Once we are honest about where we are then we can make a plan to get to where we want to be, much better than being unkind or beating ourselves up because we are pretending to be something we are not and deep down being crushed by knowing it.

Don’t be unkind but be honest.

What did you learn today?

We often reflect at the end of a day, or even during that day on several occasions, about the things we messed up, didn’t do, did wrong, said wrong and then we can go back to the day before, the week before, the month, year…and so on. We can trawl through all the disasters and dredge them up.

What if we just asked ourselves instead ‘what did I learn today?’.

Maybe things would get even better, worth a try, as I am sure we’ve all been down the ‘beating ourselves up’ road and that doesn’t lead anywhere great.