Making up a story

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Often in life, we make up stories in our head of wrongdoing done by others towards us based on what we think we know.

It is like reading a book with pages missing or text blocked out and then telling someone the story or worse the ending.

We allow preconceived ideas of others, marred by our judgements, to write stories that are based on simply that.

It’s a little like when we have a bad experience with a doctor or the phone company etc, we then assume we will always have a bad experience with doctors or the phone company.

Maybe a particular person made a bad choice of behaviour and then we seem to label them.

So we react to other people’s behaviour towards us, or most often overreact, based on nothing other than a partially complete picture or judgements.

Making up a story and often allowing ourselves to be a victim.

The simple fact is no one is out to get us anyway, they are busy with their own priorities, so being a victim is never worth the energy.

Instead of reacting we could simply ask questions to the other person and complete the story knowing the complete picture of another person’s behaviour. We may come to the same conclusion, but more often we would not, as we would react without blinkers.

Asking some questions first avoids overreaction and the need to make up stories that include us the victim.

Gloomy times

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We all have gloomy times in life, times when things seem against us or dark clouds are parked over our heads.

At the time, it can seem like there is no coming back or no way out or things will remain this way forever.

The fact is all things pass with time and what seems bad now, will feel better even in a few hours and certainly by the next day. However, it is all a question of choice.

Often we choose to wallow in the bad, we use it to seek attention and to help justify that we are a victim.

The world isn’t stacked against us or anyone else, no one is out to get us and we are no more or less worthy than anyone else.

We have the option to choose to let things go, to realise that there is a reason for things and to try and teach ourselves not to see things as bad or not to see them as others against us.

Accepting things and moving on speeds up the process and if others are doing things that have a negative impact on our feelings, then like anything that is toxic, the best thing to do is to remove that from our lives and not look back.

A great friend of mine always says to me ‘step away from the package’.