Small stuff

Why do we sweat about the small stuff and then things that really matter often get forgotten?

I am not sure I know the answer…

Perhaps, the stuff that matters is scary, requires us to be vulnerable, to come out of our comfort zones, it requires us to be brave. So, we distract ourselves with small ‘fry’ stuff.

Frustration comes through and that is often why I find myself getting annoyed with others sometimes about trivia. It is a frustration with myself caused by shying away from stuff that really matters and so I take it out on others.

The solution…again, I am not sure I know entirely, other than, let the small stuff go, get braver about the stuff that will matter to you at the end of the journey.

For me it is about less is more, but when you let the trivia go and focus on stuff that counts, then there is no more hiding place and that is scary.

I’m sorry…well, actually I’m not

Often, in the past I have said things that I didn’t necessarily agree with so as not to cause offence or to fit in, to avoid awkwardness.

Now, I don’t. I’m always civil, which is something I’ve learnt is far better than be an aggressive, opinionated arse like I used to be many years ago, but I will speak up.

However, here’s a thing I’ve noticed, I’ve been mainly vegetarian for the last 2-3 years and being vegetarian has its challenges, and at times I felt almost a little apologetic for being a veggie. Then, during the summer, partly due to watching What The Health on Netflix and feeling, after 51 years of ignoring it, that I was like most humans, intolerant to diary, I turned to being vegan.

When you say to some that you’re vegan, they look at you like you’ve got some deadly contagious disease and you’ve just licked them. They say things like ‘wow!! What do you eat?’ in a tone of complete incredulity or ‘what about cheese, butter, eggs? Do you still eat fish?’.

So, I’ve noticed that I’m almost slightly apologetic again, like I want to hide that I’m vegan or not put others into an awkward moment and I’ve said things like ‘I’m just trying it’ or ‘I’m not a strict vegan’. It’s a bit like being a ‘skinny low-fat Christian’ or a ‘Muslim lite’, just kind of religious.

Well, actually I have nothing to apologise about. People who meat, and it’s all a personal choice and I have no judgement, don’t say ‘ I’m not really into this meat thing’ or ‘sorry to be pain, I’ll just eat some veg’

So, I’m sorry but I’m not sorry anymore. Equally, though as I don’t like being judge, I am not judging others choices and I will not be trying to convert others.

If change is what I seek, then better to do my thing and then hope that it might inspire others who might want to eat differently too.

But for those who do judge, I don’t care. I’m happily a human being with my own choices that I like.