‘Should’ is a commonly used word in life and one that expresses regret.
‘I should have known better’ – well you didn’t. ‘I should have said…’ – well you didn’t. The pattern will repeat for every ‘I should have…’.
Regret is a waste of time once you accept that we live in a determined world, that the choices you make were the only ones you could have made at that moment, based on your experiences, knowledge, mindset etc up to that point in your life.
What has happened has happened. No change can take place.
‘Could’ is a word rarely used and it expresses optimism, change, opportunity, and applying the knowledge we’ve gained. ‘I could choose not to do that again’ or ‘I could choose to say this next time’.
Firstly ‘could’ has more than one option and secondly it as all about something we can alter, shape and change – the now and the future.
‘Should’ in the past is futile. ‘Should’ as in the future tense is negative, limiting and applies a pressure to you, where ‘could’ gives us infinite options including not doing it.
Perhaps we could start using ‘could’ more.
Philip Dodson 